Who Does This to Them-self?

I am in my third year of Naturopathic Medical School. I am tired. I am so worn out. I have survived on roughly 6 hours of sleep ever night for the last year.  I regularly drink 3-6 cups of coffee a day and frequently have extra shots of espresso on top of that. I have gained 30 pounds because I spend all of my time sitting in class or sitting and studying. I have had heart palpitations for the last two months (not from coffee either - I cut that out and they still happened!), and I have had a cold for the last 3 weeks. Most recently I scored 16 points below average on a mid term, which was still 20 points below passing. (If you did your math...yes...the class average was 76...the average person in the class did not pass).

You might be asking your self...What? Why? Why is she not taking a break? What is going on in this girls life that she can't get it together. Lets take a closer look at my schedule....

I am taking 23.5 credits...definitely not the most since I have started school. This includes credits for lecture, lab and clinic hours which totals....35 hours a week where I am in class or in the clinic. Yoza. When I was in my undergrad I learned that you should study outside class 3 hours for every one hour you are in class...so taking clinic hours out that is 81 hours of studying a week.

There is 168 hours in a week.

168-23-81=52 hours that are not accounted for...

But there is also that sleep I mentioned....so, 6 hours a night is 42 a week. Which leaves me with 10. 10 hours that I have to take care of my home, my dogs, spend time with my husband and most importantly, God. This is crazy. So I ask...who does this to them-self?

No wonder I am not doing it perfectly (to me this also means failing).....This is just not humanly possible.

So what am I going to do about it...

Tonight. Pick up Thai food and cake. Cake always makes things better. Drink a glass of wine and take a hot bath. Sleep well. Start fresh tomorrow...Spend time with God first. Ask him to give me the strength to get through this. Ask him to show me the way to get through this. He won't fail me. I know I am where he wants me to be, so many things fell into place at just the right time in my life to get me here. I am in his mercy and I know that he is good. And I am his.

I am making this song my Prayer. Every day. For the next 5 weeks.

September 21, 2014
Update

Just in case you were wondering....I PASSED NUTRITION...and Cardiology...and all 23 credits last spring. The first day I didn't have school I slept 14 hours straight...right through my regular meeting time with my mentor...Sorry Dana!